I might be an Aspie

September 14, 2010

I might have a teeny tiny bit of Asperger’s syndrome. Whenever I take those online tests for empathy or systematizing I score far into the autistic range. Of course, these are just online tests and should not be taken seriously. The thing that struck me is that many people who scored very low on empathy described exactly my experience interacting with people. I can’t read how people feel at all. In the absence of information, I assume people dislike me. If I’m talking to someone, I’ll assume they’re bored and end the conversation quickly to let them escape from me. Smalltalk bores me to tears. I am entirely logical and rarely feel strong emotions. I don’t understand other people’s motivations. And women are especially perplexing because they seem to be a giant bundle of contradictions. Women seem to find my sense of humor off-putting, which then makes me nervous talking to them. I have to censor everything I say to carefully be as banal and non-threatening as possible. With men, on the other hand, I can let my humor rip because only pansies are going to get upset. Nevertheless, I’m going to try to do something about it. I’m going to try to chat with people until they punch me in the face. No pain, no gain.


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