Worst Pickup Line Ever

December 18, 2006

I ran across this essay that discusses the relationship between IQ and success in society. It summarizes the state of research in psychometrics up to 1995. Here are some correlations that appear to be strong. Remember that correlation does not equal causation. Remember this does not mean all people in a group are like this, but a statistically significant percentage are.

  • Low IQ is correlated with poor academic performance, poverty, and criminality.
  • Low IQ is correlated with low IQ parents and low socio-economic status.
  • IQ appears to be immutable. Better education does not improve IQ substantially.
  • On IQ tests, Asians score higher than average, while blacks and Latinos score lower than average. Whites are average.

If these statistics are true, then blacks and Latinos could become a permanent underclass in a globalized world that devalues manual labor and enriches a high IQ elite. Since most people mate with someone within their same socio-economic class, the low and high IQ groups will become more firmly entrenched. This disparity can lead to social instability and is undesirable in a country that aspires to give every child a fair shot at a comfortable middle class life.

I propose that black & Hispanic women mate with high IQ Asian men. This solves many problems at once. Black & Hispanic women have a hard time meeting eligible men who can, or are willing to, support a family. On the other hand, high IQ Asian men have a hard time meeting women and are perpetually single. Get these two groups together and they can produce children that will be closer to the white IQ average. Problem solved.

Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to explain all this to low IQ, yet smoking hot, black & Hispanic women. I haven’t been able to condense this into a quick pickup line yet. The line, “how would you like to make some smart babies tonight”, has gotten me slapped several times. Anyone got a better idea?


69 Responses to “Worst Pickup Line Ever”

  1. Next thing you know, we’ll be asking people “What’s your DNA type?” at the bar. Didn’t Swift make fun of this kind of society in ‘Gulliver’s Travels’? The joke being, although the horse people are willing to promote good breeding within their own people, they reject Gulliver solely because he’s not like them?

  2. Mr Angry Says:

    Dude that is the best thought out pick up line in history that is unfortunately still doomed to fail. I hear women like a sense of humour. This should work in your favour.

  3. Maybe there’s already a phrase for it in spanish…o_0 you never know…

    But this is possibly the best solution to a problem I have ever seen! I say…forget the pick up line! Mass-produce related propaganda and that should solve the issue.

  4. truckerswife Says:

    You could say “hey wanna find out what our 2 IQ’s combined can make?

  5. Ha. “Low IQ is correlated with poor academic performance, poverty, and criminality.” These statistics and statements are pretty harsh. Your post is excellent however. I like your blog. It’s refreshing to read about things that actually matter, after writing about crap all day 🙂 Happy Holidays!

  6. “Say, baby, want to make a race of superbabies?”

  7. mclaren Says:

    IQ certainly is immutable, and that’s why it rises with each generation. The Flynn Effect is so well-known it requires no explanation:

    Meanwhile, it’s equally well known that if two extremely smart people have a baby, the baby will be less smart. This is known as regression to the mean and remains a universal foundation of population genetics.


    You know, instead of spouting twaddle like the stuff you regurgitated above, you might want to read a book sometime and learn something.

  8. bodicea Says:

    “Come with me if you want to save the human race.”


  9. Andy Says:

    Remember The Bell Curve?

  10. […] Quoted from: Worst Pickup Line Ever « Daily Curmudgeonry […]

  11. the supposed high IQ Asian Says:

    duh. The High IQ Asian obviously does not waste time in pickup bars to find long term mates. They have Arranged Marriages with comprehensive family tree and clan checks.

  12. Look, I don’t know who you are, but I think it’s a horrible idea. G-d meant there to be different races with different IQs. Why mess things up? Things are good the way that they are. Higher IQs of other races mean fewer good jobs for true Americans. It’s just not the way G-d intended America to be. There is this misconception that stupidity is a bad thing, if it were why would He create such a thing. We need stupid people to work in McDonalds, and smart people to build rocket ships. But without stupid people working in McDonalds who would feed the smart people building the rocket ships? Better yet if we have a space colony, we would still need stupid people to do menial jobs like look after waste disposal — you don’t have illegal aliens on Mars, and no I am not talking about Martians… and I wonder what those hybrids would be like? But back to the topic…

    Up there in Canada there is a shortage of labor to work in construction, what do you think is responsible for this? Breeding between races, especially in Toronto. If they’re stayed separate they would have enough construction workers! White, black, Asians, it’s all good… keep them separate, it’s good for the economy and it’s the way G-d intended it to be!

  13. arsenalist Says:

    This explains a lot.

  14. “If I told you, you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

    “Merry Christmas!”

  15. Anon Says:

    Wow… I’m speechless. I am not familiar with your blog so I’m not too sure if this post is serious or not, but if it is, I think this is the most offensive and idiotic thing I’ve read all year.

  16. Lianne Says:

    I like your idea.Unfortunately, Black and Hispanic women and Asian men all have different ideas about makes the opposite sex attractive.

  17. doctashock Says:

    As a black male who lives in an area of town with a majority Asian population I will add my support to this notion. There are definitely some hotties I wouldn’t mind working with in order to level the intellectual playing field of the general populace.

  18. gc fobolous Says:

    […] As I logged into my WordPress account, I noticed an interesting article posted on the WP homepage, entitled Worst Pickup Line Ever. I was expecting to be amused by random comical experiences of men trying to pick up different women, but instead it discusses the importance of interracial relationships. In fact, the correlation between low IQ and one’s success in society might have serious ramifications to future generations. Essentially, it states that lower IQ is correlated with lower socio-economic standards, and typically asians have a higher IQ than hispanics and blacks. Whites lie somewhere between the two groups. (Of course, keep in mind that these are all very general statements but the majority fall into these stereotypes.) I propose that black & Hispanic women mate with high IQ Asian men. This solves many problems at once. Black & Hispanic women have a hard time meeting eligible men who can, or are willing to, support a family. On the other hand, high IQ Asian men have a hard time meeting women and are perpetually single. Get these two groups together and they can produce children that will be closer to the white IQ average. Problem solved. […]

  19. loquacious Says:

    Heya, hotstuff. Is this guy boring you? You should come over to my place for some hot eugenics, maybe a little master race-baiting.

  20. sungame Says:

    As you mention yourself, it really IS important to remember that correlation does NOT equal causation.

    Thus, while low IQ could very well be (and probably is in som cases) the cause of poverty and low socio-economic status, it could just as well be that living in poverty prevents people from realizing their full IQ potential.

    As many blacks and latinos, both in the US, in Latin America and Africa are born into (relative) poverty by parents of low socio-economic status, maybe it is only to be expected that they score below average on IQ tests?

  21. Everybody Says:

    Sieg Heil!

  22. Maxwell Says:

    I enjoyed reading this. It was by complete accident, too, ’cause it was on the front page of wordpress.com, when I actually meant to go to wordpress.org.

    If everyone would just listen to you, we’d have a whole lot of “pure” white people and no pure asians, blacks, or latinos. There would be two sub-species of human: whites and afrolatasians. It took me 4 minutes to think of that: afrolatasians. Sounds interesting.

  23. hanyen Says:

    I am an Asian guy and I know many asian guys don’t like black or hispanic women. I prefer asian girls.

  24. plmzaq21 Says:

    nice thought!!! but not necessary that high IQ man and low IQ woman will have average iq child. 🙂

  25. I’m still LOL at that pickup line…. *sigh* Good work.

  26. intunericul Says:

    “You’re hot, I’m smart… Would you like to be Superman’s mom?”

  27. gooders Says:

    what is an “asian”?
    This word means different things to different people.

  28. Just a comment on IQ tests in general: they don’t reflect intelligence but rather social and cultural background. Black and Hispanic children adopted by upper-middle class white people score just as highly on IQ tests as average whites. (Sorry, don’t have any references available at hand.) Hence they are not doomed to become a “permanent underclass”.

  29. stainedshirt Says:

    i like it. and if the conversation doesn’t “work” on whomever, they’re not what you’re looking for.

  30. kyknoord Says:

    “Hey there, good-looking. Wanna ring my bell-curve?”

  31. mk Says:

    In a couple of years there will be a portable DNA-tester that you can use to size up a potential mate’s DNA at, say, a bar. This device will probably be designed by an Asian guy.
    Can you imagine it? “Hey, you’re good-looking and a great dancer, but my DNA tester says that our children would be mouth-breathers. Sorry” 🙂

  32. Onkar Joshi Says:

    Heather Flanagon,

    Didn’t Hitler try that out? Wow, what a visionary. Eh?

  33. engtech Says:

    Wearing your Mensa name tag to bars doesn’t work.

    Trust me.

  34. Jim Says:

    Your conclusion does not follow logically from your premises. You correlate Black and Latino with low IQ, and also correlate low IQ with lower socio-economic status. It might occur to you that the low IQ scores of blacks and latinos has nothing to do with genetic pre-disposition, but with their socio-economic status.

    If you’re trying to get laid, try pretending you’re in the 21st Century.

  35. ebitmanagement Says:

    In Sweden there is a sying stating “that the last idiot is still not born yet”. So there is still room to make more essays.

    Anyway, my wife did surely not pick me due to my IQ, my dog doesn’t give a shit about it, and the children are happy if they get christmas presents.

    I wish you a merry christmas,
    from Sweden // Timo

  36. Baby Jebus Says:

    Stick with the original, it will eventually work

  37. jaredude Says:

    Here’s a variation on the classic “Wanna get some pizza and f*ck?”

    Wanna study some physics and f*ck?


    What! You don’t like physics?

  38. kevinsung Says:

    Geez, some people have never heard of tongue in cheek humor. But I chuckled.

    But if I could jump on the serious train for a moment here too, keep in mind that high IQ does not necessarily correlate with high test standardized test scores. And sadly, that (in addition to luck) seems to matter the most.

  39. max Says:

    There is big proof in the White House intelligence is not a requirement for socio economic success.

    republicanite scares me.

  40. dazzer Says:

    I could use a nice white lady myself… ah well – is asian –

  41. Audrey Walton Says:

    Joke or not, let’s be clear:

    Your facts are wrong.

    Studies have shown that IQ scores *are* raised by education (Marzano, 2004).

    Studies have also shown that IQ scores are heavily influenced by one’s environment.

    The types of ideas about race that you cite are quite old. They are called “eugenics.” Modern geneticists and biophysicists consider them to be outdated and erroneous. There is no evidence at all that people from certain races are genetically prone to have higher IQs.

    I know it’s supposed to be funny, but still.

  42. engatussada Says:

    Your post is funny but as you’ve already been told, it could very well be (and it is) that statistics show black and hispanic people to have a lower IQ SIMPLY because they’ve been left educationless and in poverty for generations. It is a typical white smart-ass comment: let’s go to your country, suck out all the riches, condemn you to misery and, cherry on top, declare you’re an imbecile.
    On the other hand, as someone once said, mating a smart man with a beautiful woman may very well result into an ugly idiotic brat instead of a pretty, smart one.

  43. madmouser Says:

    I found the blog, plus the comments very interesting. Thanks to all of you for the free entertainment. Life is good…

  44. analysis Says:

    “IQ appears to be immutable. Better education does not improve IQ substantially.”

    That is a complete mis-statement of the research, which says that a person’s MAXIMUM POSSIBLE IQ is a matter of nature, but their ACTUAL IQ is a matter of environment. In short, a person might be capable of an IQ of 150 but only attain 100 for environmental reasons (or, if they live near lead emissions, perhaps even 50!).

  45. analysis Says:

    PS> max, you know that John Kerry had the same grades in Yale as GW Bush, right?

    If you don’t assume G.W.B. is a fool, then you have a much better case that he is a criminal. And given how much he’s going to be making off his corruption when he leaves the White House, being President is the best business deal he’s ever done.

  46. Onkar Joshi, http://onkarjoshi.wordpress.com/

    You know, I try and I try to be original and all the good ideas are already taken. I don’t know who this Hitler guy is, but I think he must be a real jerk for stealing my ideas!

  47. A friend of mine used this line and was promptly beaten by the boyfriend, after he came back from the restroom.

    “I just got a new batch of chloroform, wanna see how it works?”

  48. analysis Says:

    Someone asked me, “That is a fascinating idea, do you have a reference so I can read more about it? How do they measure max IQ? I wonder if I’ve got any extra IQ points left unused.”

    Frankly, it was in my psychology textbooks when I taught psychology. I vaguely remembered it from my undergraduate years as well. I think it’s the compromise that explains all the various IQ differences. As for using extra IQ points, well… the main environmental issues are mental stimulation at an early age and nutrition, from what I recall. So aside from buying cheddar-covered popcorn (yes, I’m basing that on Smartfood’s press release in 1986), I’d say your kids are more the target than you are.

    Anyway, you don’t seem to need much in the way of IQ compared to, well, 90% of your fellow webians. (That’s a compliment, I hope.)

    A prior commenter wrote:
    “Your post is funny but as you’ve already been told, it could very well be (and it is) that statistics show black and hispanic people to have a lower IQ SIMPLY because they’ve been left educationless and in poverty for generations. It is a typical white smart-ass comment: let’s go to your country, suck out all the riches, condemn you to misery and, cherry on top, declare you’re an imbecile.”

    Well, yes, that is one way of looking at it. On the lighter side, when we saw that lead was bringing about severe problems of mental retardation among the most poor people – those who tended to live in places where lead poisoning was most problematic – we did something about it as a nation, despite a bunch of whining morons who were afraid the government was going to take away their muscle cars.

    Unfortunately a huge number of children were born who did not live anywhere near their potential.

    Likewise, poor kids are much less likely to have booksin their family OR to be read to at the library than middle class or higher kids. This also depresses IQ rates. Race and poverty are linked in the US, which also contributes to race gaps in IQ.

    Some people are trying to do something about all this. Others are just … never mind. You can visit my own blog for that…

  49. Breeding based on race sounds familiar–and awful. We didn’t like it when the Nazi’s did it. Eugenics is, I think, always a bad idea.

    Does your article take into account who designs IQ tests and what they’re looking for? They really don’t have anything to do with innate intelligence–only how well you answer these particular questions, which are inevitably rooted in culture–not biology or individual intelligence, but how well the individual navigates the culture that’s being tested. Perhaps what the article suggests is that we need new methods for testing intelligence.

  50. feartheseeds Says:

    …watch “Bulworth”, but fast forward to the “lets fuck all the colour out” speech.

  51. projectshave Says:

    Some comments on the comments:

    1) I looked up Audrey Walton’s reference to Marzano. His book barely mentions IQ and doesn’t say it can be raised. It says knowledge can be increased, which is different (and important).

    2) Some comments complained that IQ tests are biased. If that were so, how could Asian immigrants score higher than black Americans? Anyway, under different IQ tests you get different scores, but the spread between groups persists. Show me a reference!

    3) analysis mentions a maximum IQ. I’m guessing you mean that environmental factors can reduce IQ: poor nutrition, health hazards, very bad maternal care (e.g. Romanian orphans), and even iodized salt (last week in NYTimes). All true, but most of these don’t effect Americans. Only poor infant care is broadly applicable.

    4) I did not say black & Hispanics = low IQ. Instead, there is a correlation. That means there’s some relation which may include all the socio-economic problems faced by minorities. I certainly hope that’s true because it is fixable.

    The post is a tongue-in-cheek extrapolation from some research ideas. I’m sure the hot black & Latina women will continue to ignore me and my giant Asian brain. Whoever said intelligence and a sense of humor attracts women needs to explain why my science & engineering grad school is filled with male virgins.

  52. naturalexponent Says:

    Jim, it’s correlation, not causation. He isn’t implying that low socio-economic status causes low IQ, but that those two have some strong relationship. His conclusion is completely valid, especially if the premise that IQ is immutable is true.

    In any case though, lighten up, it’s a funny post 🙂

  53. Rósa sæta Says:

    now I know even more bad pick up lines, this one still works: “your father is a beautiful alien…” people always want to know more… might be good to know the answer thought… ehh maybe later

    Gledileg jól 🙂

  54. Patty Says:

    Most entertaining thing I’ve read all day. Thanks.

  55. littlemetg Says:

    I’m half Thai and half Puerto Rican; where does that put me? Average IQ I guess.

    The Asian side of me found your post interesting but the hispanic side of me didn’t read the entire post!

  56. kizkozmoz Says:

    Savants can be of any race, which would indicate that socio-environmental factors play the biggest hand. As to the Asian factor– here environmental impact is enormously significant as the controlling factor. At least what I saw in SF,CA. at the best public high in the country when they based accelerated learning solely on merit the Asian female out ranked every other group by about 80%. Why? Well yes they are smarter, but they are also under tremendous pressure from their socio-family groups to produce and ignore all else. To say the least, there is very little underage out of wedlock childbearing in this group.

    Lastly, it would be great to improve the human race but do we really need to overpopulate to do it? I mean what about first raising the IQs of the folks already here ?

  57. luciferrock Says:

    Dude that pick up line rates up there with this one hows about coming up to my place & i will show ya my hot rad then i will show you my car…..
    That one will either get you slapped or laughed at one of the 2……. as for low iq’s i work with them day in & day out

  58. Yeah, well, if a chick is dumb enough to let you f*ck the very first night sans condom, then you’re not off to a very good start [creating superior children], are you?

  59. Although I”d like to think I’m pretty damn smart in spite of similar boo boos.

  60. […] This is a response to a inaccurate blog posted on projectshave.wordpress.com […]

  61. stjarna67 Says:

    So, is this the 21st century version of PRIMA NOCTA (Braveheart movie reference)?

    Does that mean that Asian men would have to take over inner city neighborhood and lay (pun intended) claim to those Hispanic and Black women in his neo-feudal kingdom?

    Several hundred years later, I still don’t think that would go over well with most people.

  62. Jim Says:

    😀 go join a rock band!

    Nice blog entry!

  63. max Says:

    Okay. Obviously most posters here are missing the point. The guy is not advocating eugenics. He just wants to pick up hot chicks.

    So. Dumb too big brain guy. I am going to help you out here. Your huge brain has not informed you of a real important factor in human reality. People, you, I, everyone, are about “me.” You are trying to sell yourself to girls by talking about you. That won’t work. It is like walking into a bar trying to sell girls a newspaper because there is an article in there about you. They don’t want to buy an article about you. They want to buy an article about them.

    Translated, this means, Tell girls you are smart. That is not going to get you laid. Tell girls they are smart, you might get lucky.

    Good luck losing that virginity.

  64. ixnacious Says:

    Because the world needs more people like Tiger Woods! 🙂

  65. Chris Says:

    Wouldn’t you agree that natural urges are taking care of this already? Or at least deciding which mate best suits a particular gene sample? I guess if you’re a determanilist things could get more philosophical.

  66. engtech Says:

    The best advice I’ve ever heard:

    Tell smart girls they’re pretty and tell pretty girls they’re smart.

  67. stjarna67 Says:

    “Tell smart girls they’re pretty and tell pretty girls they’re smart.”

    That’s great advice. However, how do you go about making the determination if you aren’t sure? What do you ask to find out which they think they are?

    Who is Nick Lachey dating right now?
    What is the half-life of Carbon 14?

    There are just too many possibilities.

  68. kizkozmoz Says:

    Actually picking up is not even the ticket. It is how you play it while you are in the intro-phase dating. A good buddy turned me on to some useful tips.
    Everyone advises “Just be yourself”. This is not good. Be anyone else. Be the character you just watched in some sitcom. Being yourself will lead you down the same path you have tread. Be Groucho Marx. Be Mel Gibson. Be Tiger Woods, then. Whoever you pick will keep you entertained copying and so you will be more entertaining in general.
    Next, don’t try to fit it in in one night. You have the girl’s interest. If she agrees to come back to your place or if you have her in your car, have a buddy or answering service call your cell phone and pretend to need to be bailed out of jail or helped home from ER. Excuse yourself and tell her you really liked meeting her and that you would love to have dinner (etc.) the next night, week, whenever. She will be impressed that you are a faithful pal or know colorful regular people and she will get back with you. Take her to some really snappy place. If you are in SF I suggest The Tonga Room at the Fairmont. You get the picture. After another delightful date under your assumed character she will be going back to your bedroom (or hers–they tend to feel safer there).And then pal you are at homebase!

  69. max Says:

    Whoa. Kizko is dangerous.

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